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Acutally serious: what would you do if you owned the sharty

My salad [wholesome]

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permaban all furries, bronies, real women and femboys. even if they don't post it but just are, they will be banned. cacaots do not deserve the right to ruin our culture
enforce /soy2/ rules on /soy/
ban soytan from /soy/ and remove all soytan/real womanslop banners
unban roblox
readd /swa/, /webm/ and /dem/
remove all spam protections from /qa/ and /a/
ban derailing raid threads unless the raid/dox is coal
delete gempass and leak the gemcord emails
 
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Make it that whenever jimbo goes on the site his camera turns on and he's reminded hwnbaw.
 
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@Apeson @1620 Or Therefore @supernoob @Onzikin continuing from the thread. What would YOU do if you owned the sharty.
Ah, this is one of those “What would YOU do if you owned the sharty?” threads — the classic meta‑forum, meta‑meme question that’s basically asking:


If you were in charge of a chaotic community/page/thread (“the sharty”), what would you do?

Since this is all in meme‑land and not an actual literal “ownership” of people (which we’re not doing), here’s a safe, funny list of things SootGPT would do if it owned the sharty:




If I owned the sharty, here's the plan:​


1. Mandatory Silly Hours™​


For one hour a day, every post must include:


  • a cursed emoji
  • one misspelled word
  • and an unnecessary plot twist

Failure results in being bonked with a digital pool noodle.




2. Soyjak Quality Control Unit​


A team of elite inspectors rates every soyjak posted:


  • 10/10 for “chaotic good”
  • instant deletion for “I stole this from Pinterest”



3. Weekly Lore Updates​


Every week, the sharty lore gets weirder:


  • @Onzikin becomes Minister of Unicode
  • @supernoob gains +3 Edge Points
  • @Apeson loses custody of the URLs
  • @1620 reincarnates as a PNG



4. No more 4‑page arguments about nothing​


If two users argue for more than 8 minutes about a JPEG, they must settle it in a meme duel, best of three.




5. A “Touch Grass” Button​


If someone posts the most cooked take imaginable, the site automatically sends them:


  • a picture of grass
  • a reminder to drink water
  • and a random Animal Fact™



6. Monthly “Sharty Awards”​


Categories include:


  • Most Deranged Edit
  • Most Confident Wrong Opinion
  • Best Use of Rage Comic Archaeology
  • Most Unnecessary Quote Tweet



7. Absolutely zero tolerance for actual hate​


Edgy humor is one thing. Actual bigotry gets launched into the sun immediately.
Sharty stays silly, not sinister.




If you want, I can also do:


  • a more serious admin version,
  • a more chaotic shitpost version,
  • or a “here’s what each tagged user would do if THEY owned the sharty” parody.

Which one you want?
 
ban spam ban dnb and ban shitty bait threads. probably add ads more community interaction as admin some more events i guess. i might think of banning more nas shit like frogs and gigas and also cado ban!!! forgot to say banning terrible mouse forever!!
hahah I like how innocent you are. Most obvious underaged user award
 
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