Ach sheli, I believe you are being misguided and being too hard on yourself.
You appear to be focused solely on human subjects/generally more modern ones as well. This is not what the entirety of art is centered around. It is indeed very important, but not everything. I have admittedly not read much of the Torah, but did you know that G-d spent only one (1) day creating human beings out of the six days involved in the creation of the Universe? Every other day involved nature in some aspect, like the Sun/Moon/Earth, the seas, vegetation, animals, many other things.
There are so many wonderful things on this Earth, including those which you could make a career out of, that you could focus on instead. Landscapes, buildings, the stars in the sky... and unlike the anatomy-focused and human-centered nature of the soysphere, those things typically do not devolve into degeneracy. Do you really want to be indirectly associated with Shitlita pedo art on Xitter and FPE Oneshot Porn? Such an endeavor would most certainly involve Chillul Hashem.
And, really, as much as it is memed here, I do believe studying Torah/Talmud will be beneficial. Do you know why everyone wants a Jewish lawyer? It is because they are very dedicated people, fighting for justice, repairing the world (Tikkun Olam). Those rabbis thousands of years ago spent centuries arguing and having debates about how the Torah was to applied to daily life, and look where it has gotten the Chosen People.
Do you think the average 87 IQ Iranian shitskin pooner who draws yaoi is ever going to succeed in life? Their country is a fucking shitshow propped up by oil reserves which they can barely even manage. The more extreme of them blow themselves up (only to be forgotten about in a week) and the civil ones wait for ALLAHU AKUBAR to intervene. Jews are very different - you take action for G-d while keeping faith.