Santa Claus, in the flesh. Or rather, in the uniform.

[soyjaktwentyneutralface]

I took the liberty of relieving you of your weapons; most of them were Brahmin property. As for the BBC dildo, I think you've earned it.

The coalworld, Soyjak dot st, is in our control for the time being, thanks to you. Quite a nasty piece of hunk you managed over there. I am impressed.

 

[⸻⸻⸻]

That’s why I’m here, Mr. Claus. I have recommended your services to my employers, and they have authorized me to offer you a job. They agree with me that you have limitless potential.

 

[⸻⸻⸻]

That’s why I’m here, Mr. Claus. I have recommended your services to my employers, and they have authorized me to offer you a job. They agree with me that you have limitless potential.

You’ve proved yourself a decisive man, so I don’t expect you’ll have any trouble deciding what to do. If you’re interested, just step into the BLACKED portal and I will take that as a yes. Otherwise... well... I can offer you a battle you have no chance of winning. Rather an anticlimax, after what you’ve just survived.

 

[⸻⸻⸻]

You’ve proved yourself a decisive man, so I don’t expect you’ll have any trouble deciding what to do. If you’re interested, just step into the BLACKED portal and I will take that as a yes. Otherwise... well... I can offer you a battle you have no chance of winning. Rather an anticlimax, after what you’ve just survived.

Time to choose.

 

[⸻⸻⸻]

Time to choose.

Wisely done, Mr. Claus. I will see you up ahead in the Soyjak Forum.

 

[Goot]

Claus the uniform?

 

[Goot]

That'd actually he a awsome alt history where Claus is actually a cursed hugo boss uniform that posesses whoever wears it