>you only have oneshot at your fundamental paper education
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but genuinely when i started buying food for myself i'd drink milk like some kind of addictive substance like i developed a tolerance and i'd buy more and more of it until i was buying two to three liters daily
 
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I don't really know what "stimming" even means anymore, but I think I do it quite often. Anytime I talk to or approach someone I'm not used to, I usually start humming, whistling, or pulling my hands to my chest and start rubbing my wrists or cracking my knuckles.
In private my "stims" are more aggressive where I make dummy noises or pretend to shoot myself, so I think I'm at the border of being fully dummyed vs knowing how to avoid showing to much.

It's like a cartoon where some character starts whistling to act natural, but I'm sure everyone can tell I only do that after I have an awkward interaction with them.

Occasionally I'll have days where I'm totally comfortable and actually make basic conversation as if it's out of a script of how to act normal. Today was one of those days, which is why I'm thinking about it. I felt so dummyed saying those things, felt that it would obviously get clocked as fake, but everyone reacted as if it was genuine and laughed at my "jokes" which were just me saying what I thought would make me seem involved. I think I might have schizoaffective disorder.
 
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