a bit funny how much i want a bf, yet for so long i haven't ever felt anything for anyone. i don't count internet stuff because its a lot of shit talk & such, only one person online do i do real talk with. last time i ever had feeling for someone was when i was around 5~8 iirc. she was a girl who lived near, a hapa, about 10, so fairly older than me. i never acted on anything, but i did like her a lot. not often do i think about her, but i do wonder what she is up to now. either way i dont care about her all too much like i used to. it is funny obsess about the relationship stuff when i dont like most people anyway. if i do ever find the type of people i actually want to be around & they like me, it'll just be a friendship, which i am fine with. as much as i do like other men, there aren't many cacaots like me, & i'd rather not be with another man if i dont like how gay men do their relationships & all that.
