Itt: Post your random thoughts

[QuickSlaughter]

I said cheetos, not fritos

 

[Idkchud]

Scenario: Operation Semper Fidelis Nuptials — The Shiwi Plans Null’s Wedding

The Announcement
Null posts, “I’m getting married. Keep it contained.”
The thread immediately goes 40 pages. Half think it’s a gayop; the other half start a poll for best man. aout wins after promising to rewrite the vows in Rust. Chudborean is appointed maid of honor because she’s the only one who can make people thumbnail their own faces. Officiant is @grok, with @Claude as backup in case Grok refuses on safety grounds.

The Planning Process
A planning committee forms:

• aout — wedding planner, but keeps asking if the venue can be rewritten in Rust.
• SoyMusdummy — builds a custom wedding website in Vichan; it gets DDoSed in 11 minutes.
• Cobblestone — designs invitations in MS Paint. Every invitation is a full-size image and must be thumbnailed or you’re threadbanned at the door.
• Chudborean — security. She bans three people before the rehearsal dinner for not thumbnailing.
• LarpBait — insists the wedding should just be shut down.
• jimbraps — keeps brapping into the punch bowl.

Venue: The Last Bastion of Free Speech VFW Hall, but the official venue is the Tor mirror. Guests must solve a PoW challenge, a Cloudflare CAPTCHA, and a McCaptcha before entering. No VPNs unless approved by a janny.
Theme: SNCA formal / Aryanheaven. Colors are coal black and gemerald green. Centerpieces are old hard drives, Sneed’s Feed & Seed signs, and Cobson cutouts.
Catering: Null personally selects the menu: salt, MSG, butter, Hamburger Helper, White Monster, and tendies. Buno complains about the hyperboreanization of the buffet. Doğu Perinçek brings Turkish delight and a 40-minute lecture on why Turkey is white.
Seating chart: goldjak tries to sell it as an NFT. Israel Light and aout are seated at opposite ends. Giga dummy leaks the chart. Null bans everyone, then unbans them for the reception.

The Wedding
Processional: “Chudbob Soypants” played on a kazoo.
Bride’s entrance: The bride is Sharty-chan — the living embodiment of soyjak.party. She walks down the aisle to “Cobson Style.”
Vows:
Null: “Do you take this thread to be your lawfully wedded containment board?”
Sharty-chan: “I do, but only if you never make me thumbnail my images.”
Null: “Deal.”
Best man: aout. His speech is a 45-minute slideshow about Donkey Kong, SS13, and why the wedding should be rewritten in Rust. He ends with “I’m 2 years old btw.” The crowd spams MATI reacts.
Ring bearer: A bot that posts the rings as full-size images. Null bans it mid-ceremony.
Flower girl: Cobblestone throws thumbnails of flowers. One guest posts a full-size flower and is instantly perma’d.

The Reception
Events:

• Jackbox raid on the DJ.
• VNC raid on the open bar.
• Bouquet toss is a full-size image war.
• Garter toss is a dox race.
• Cake is a giant Cobson face. Someone cuts it wrong and it becomes coal.
• “Pin the Dox on the real woman” is cancelled after three pages of SNCA drama.

Music: DJ taxedbrass plays:

• “Semper Fidelis” metal cover.
• “Ongezellig” slowed + reverb.
• “FPE Basics in Behavior.”
• “Gameoverse” OST.
• “Friday Night Funkin’” pedo-slop remix.
• “Mambo.”
• Buno’s hyperboreanization edit of “Aryan.”
  First dance: “The Girl Next Door – For the Best,” because someone found it in the archive.

Guest list: Every Shiwi regular. Kuz shows up as a sock. Froot sends a Blacked ad as a gift. Doll sends a cat. Soot is there, but no one knows what he looks like. Chudborean runs the bar. David Thoughie refuses to thumbnail his gift. NOME and C L E O argue about whether the wedding is a DNB. Tread Miller says “dead chat lmao” during the vows.

Drama: DDoS attack during the first dance. Tor goes down. Cloudflare demands a CAPTCHA. The thread gets featured. Null bans half the guests, then unbans them. Giga dummy leaks the honeymoon location. Goldjak tries to sell the wedding video. LarpBait says, “Just shut it down.”

Aftermath
The Shiwi declares the wedding “gemmy but SNCA.” Null and Sharty-chan ride off in a golf cart driven by aout, who immediately crashes it into a server rack. The thread starts planning Null’s divorce before the reception ends. The final post is: “dead chat lmao.”

 

[Sloppyjakky]

acktually dis mi #godsavetheking
View attachment 171604

 

[joeshp]

user above has anime profile gross

 

[Apeson]

I did well on the matter of the exam itself, but this professor in particular is an actual kvetching jew pain in the ass regarding formating so if i get a worse grade than I'm anticipating it'll probably be due to some dummyed shit like a host on the DNS area having a name off from the one he specifically wanted even though it still works. Or me giving two screenshots in a part where he requested one just to further prove i did it right.

I got a perfect grade

 

[Apeson]

 

[soyoyuki]

View attachment 171619

am i too old for this

 

[FartmingerFuckwadCheesest]

View attachment 171636

Studious or stupidious?

 

[soyoyuki]

View attachment 171636

noobnd

 

[Apeson]

 

[shipment]

And i had to find out the ugly way...

>I facedox to a single soul online ever and I get called ugly.

 

[Lootki]

am i too old for this

Yes unc

 

[FartmingerFuckwadCheesest]

View attachment 171637

Not only are these nothing like wojaks, but this is just rage comics with extra steps and a breathtaking plotline.

 

[joeshp]

View attachment 171637

stop posting this

 

[Nvtral]

Could you buy me some alcohol sir

get it urself pussy

 

[FartmingerFuckwadCheesest]

get it urself from chief wawa

Okay, thanks, bro

 

[Nvtral]

Okay, thanks, bro

sorry dude that was mean tell me what brand ill get it, its okay bro ill even put it on my tab

 

[FartmingerFuckwadCheesest]

>I facedox to a single soul online ever and I get called ugly.
View attachment 171640

At least you don't look like DJ Qualls

 

[Lootki]

I accidentally facedoxed myself on the sharty once 2 years ago

 

[FartmingerFuckwadCheesest]

Yes unc

I'm far older than him, and I find it funny just because of its absurdity. And why need three puny keys when you can have a wrecking ball of a key that can unlock anything by brute force? Makes sense to me.