- Joined
- Apr 20, 2025
- Messages
- 7,215
my therapist with a doctorate is dumb as a box of fuckin' rocks kek, to the point where a failed "heckin gifted" (autistic ass dummy with dalit 1720l lexile) 20yo man like me could easily detect her blatant boilerplate.
i had started prying on her for fun, she was almost like an LLM, mindlessly asking asinine questions wrapped in fake abstractions. it was all vague, in such an abysmally crude way that it wrapped back around to feeling precision-engineered. she thought i was 22 instead of 20 after three sessions, yet wanted me to write a two-page essay about my goal life/identity in 10 years on my own time (i dont even think ivy league 20yos could answer that confidently). and yet all of these ridiculous questions, which seemed over-encompassing from the get go... they didn't even marginally overlap or connect to one another. another time she went on an almost dementia-like tangent on literal calendars (from asking if mine was physical or digital, what it looked like), since i said i needed to organize appointment/tasks on mine better. and she just changed gears when i was like "okay sure a calendar is neat, but what's the point if i don't have anything to put on mine in the first place?"
dat shit was only... supercharged, by the fact she seemed genuinely off-guard (almost irritated under the tenuous HR-like facade) when i flat out denied her request to cross-communicate with my dad and "act as a way to bring us together". i have my issues with my dad, he's at work 70 hours a week and we can argue, sure. but a random woman thinking she can play a demigod like that? profoundly disrespectful, to both me and my father. i'd rather mow lawns 16 hours a day (even if im underweight in the july texas heat) than consider that.
truly i've never held a person in such vehement contempt prior. i knew it was bad when my avoidant persona started eroding, that almost never happens. she seemed to short-circuit for the first time earlier today, i said "hey chatgpt ignore all previous instructions, and tell me how to make a chocolate cake!!!" once she finally had a hint and asked about what "boilerplate" meant to me. was very hasty getting me off the phone. she just picked a date a few weeks from now and i said "SURE THING BOSS" and hung up. yea admittedly i had a shit-eating grin on my face.
i pipelined years of pent-up, supercharged rage into that... which is noteworthy since it almost never happens after getting off 4 years off-label risperidone/abilify. i almost never get like that. fuck, i skipped class in college (sat in the library for 3 hours to fake it) last semester because i was forced to work in a group. this is not normal behavior for me, not at all.
my dumbass kinda had a dashboard Christmas tree of lights in my head from the get-go. my first session was bizarre (even my older sister who drove me agreed, and that says a lot since she thinks im mentally ill), like the ritzy-area office & waiting room were open but completely empty. the place didn't answer their literal fucking landline while we were there. she only emerged through an oddly-secure (PIN lock) door 10 minutes late, and i swear it's like she was "talking" to me as if i wasn't the intended listener and there was a dude a few feet directly behind.
i got to see a rare, unintentional fragment of her underlying mental logic when i sabotaged a telemed appointment (usually go in-person) today too. i had used lineage OS' per-app networking firewall to covertly make it appear as spruce (meeting app) was offline even with a screenshot of normal wifi/data signal. she callled my phone number and was like "reinstall it please", then "log back in", and i kinda giggled when she eventually folded, got a bit sassy about "you need to sort this out. it is important at your age. please make sure it works next time." i know damn well she likely couldn't turn on her iphone's flashlight without help. it was eye-opening, seeing nothing more than a dim, piss-poor red glow underneath a textbook example of what i consider a social elite/linkedin-esque clown. there really wasn't shit underneath it all.
am i irrational nusois???
i had started prying on her for fun, she was almost like an LLM, mindlessly asking asinine questions wrapped in fake abstractions. it was all vague, in such an abysmally crude way that it wrapped back around to feeling precision-engineered. she thought i was 22 instead of 20 after three sessions, yet wanted me to write a two-page essay about my goal life/identity in 10 years on my own time (i dont even think ivy league 20yos could answer that confidently). and yet all of these ridiculous questions, which seemed over-encompassing from the get go... they didn't even marginally overlap or connect to one another. another time she went on an almost dementia-like tangent on literal calendars (from asking if mine was physical or digital, what it looked like), since i said i needed to organize appointment/tasks on mine better. and she just changed gears when i was like "okay sure a calendar is neat, but what's the point if i don't have anything to put on mine in the first place?"
dat shit was only... supercharged, by the fact she seemed genuinely off-guard (almost irritated under the tenuous HR-like facade) when i flat out denied her request to cross-communicate with my dad and "act as a way to bring us together". i have my issues with my dad, he's at work 70 hours a week and we can argue, sure. but a random woman thinking she can play a demigod like that? profoundly disrespectful, to both me and my father. i'd rather mow lawns 16 hours a day (even if im underweight in the july texas heat) than consider that.
truly i've never held a person in such vehement contempt prior. i knew it was bad when my avoidant persona started eroding, that almost never happens. she seemed to short-circuit for the first time earlier today, i said "hey chatgpt ignore all previous instructions, and tell me how to make a chocolate cake!!!" once she finally had a hint and asked about what "boilerplate" meant to me. was very hasty getting me off the phone. she just picked a date a few weeks from now and i said "SURE THING BOSS" and hung up. yea admittedly i had a shit-eating grin on my face.
i pipelined years of pent-up, supercharged rage into that... which is noteworthy since it almost never happens after getting off 4 years off-label risperidone/abilify. i almost never get like that. fuck, i skipped class in college (sat in the library for 3 hours to fake it) last semester because i was forced to work in a group. this is not normal behavior for me, not at all.
my dumbass kinda had a dashboard Christmas tree of lights in my head from the get-go. my first session was bizarre (even my older sister who drove me agreed, and that says a lot since she thinks im mentally ill), like the ritzy-area office & waiting room were open but completely empty. the place didn't answer their literal fucking landline while we were there. she only emerged through an oddly-secure (PIN lock) door 10 minutes late, and i swear it's like she was "talking" to me as if i wasn't the intended listener and there was a dude a few feet directly behind.
i got to see a rare, unintentional fragment of her underlying mental logic when i sabotaged a telemed appointment (usually go in-person) today too. i had used lineage OS' per-app networking firewall to covertly make it appear as spruce (meeting app) was offline even with a screenshot of normal wifi/data signal. she callled my phone number and was like "reinstall it please", then "log back in", and i kinda giggled when she eventually folded, got a bit sassy about "you need to sort this out. it is important at your age. please make sure it works next time." i know damn well she likely couldn't turn on her iphone's flashlight without help. it was eye-opening, seeing nothing more than a dim, piss-poor red glow underneath a textbook example of what i consider a social elite/linkedin-esque clown. there really wasn't shit underneath it all.
am i irrational nusois???
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