The only real woman
@shipment is attracted to is Pizzacake, because she’s 2-D.
@shipment is the type of guy who gets relationship counseling from fictional characters, since they’re just like his wife.
@shipment is the type of guy who thinks “hold your horses” has romantic meaning.
@shipment is the type of guy who would intentionally damn himself to hell to own the Christcucks.
@shipment is the type of guy who cries if he gets the wrong pony on a “Which MLP Pony Are You?” Buzzfeed quiz.
@shipment is the type of guy who thinks soyteens are talking about the MLP villain when they mention Discord.
@shipment is the type of guy who invests in the most expensive material technology possible just so his Derpy Hooves body pillow can feel more like a real pony.
@shipment is the type of guy who is vehemently opposed to any attempts at curing mental disabilities because he thinks they’ll cure Derpy Hooves too.
@shipment is the type of guy who runs outside to find a pot of gold when there’s a rainbow because he thinks he’s a leprechaun.
@shipment is the most stereotypical Rick & Morty fan on Earth.
This is who you are voting for, cargocucks.