25 XI 2025
Lots of turbulent events lately. Those who know know. I've had this cycle of going totally mental, resolving the issue and it coming back a few days later, even more intensely. It happened a total of 3 times and the last one was very scary. What I am scared of is it coming back for the 4th time. If it did I'd just die inside. For now I'm calm, it seems like nothing bad is going to happen.
I need constant reassurance. Left alone I start doubting myself. The doubting leads to me confronting the problems directly at the expense of other people. I could just let it boil inside until I break completely but I am selfish. I can afford to be selfish.