>No, i'm not joking, I've developed a fetish towards soijaks. I'm not sure why but its likely to do with the fact its an effeminate male, note that I'm an otherwise completely heterosexual male yet i can't help but get off to these wojak edits, It's likely to do with the idea that they're submissive/effeminate males, I can get off to them all but my personal favorite is the gapejak which is picrel since it looks the most feminine and plapjak-tier.
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hillelblog

I will repost all my serious blogposts here
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I will not shy away from telling exactly what state I was in. I am not embarrassed to tell the world about my misery.

From the Polish national epic, (full name because it is ridiculously long) "Sir Thaddeus, or the Last Foray in Lithuania: A Nobility's Tale of the Years 1811–1812, in Twelve Books of Verse"

"Lithuania, my homeland! You are like health;
How much you should be valued, only he who has lost you will know.
Today, your beauty in all its glory
I see and describe, because I miss you."

I've always known that this is true. Despite that I also never truly appreciate things. Connections are easily severed. Over the past 2 months I had so many fights with my friend, probably 7? 8?. So many. I was responsible for each and every one of them. I was always the one threatening to go away. I was always the one to "forgive". I was always the one "being hurt", I was never the one "hurting". I was always the most important person in the room, I was always the "grand prize". My forgiveness meant the world while their words were meaningless. My actions were inconsequential while their doings pierced like needles. My main concern was that "I was the one who cared" They supposedly did not. This is what I thought. All of what I thought was wrong. I was wrong. I am wrong, I am always wrong. I hope I am right this time. How can someone take so many hits from me and still stay by me side? Forgive me so many times even though I had no idea they were even doing that? They were always the one feeling guilty, they were always the one suffering because of my selfishness. I was seeking help in my other friend, hurting them too. I claimed I cared.

There is a limit. Everyone has a limit. I pushed them to their limit. I was especially cold, I explicitly said I don't care anymore, I explicitly said I cannot be bothered, they should be the one doing all the heavy lifting and you know what? They did. They did that! But I rejected all of this! I said it's not enough, I said try harder, try again. Moments later I was crying like a baby, 150bpm heart rate, panicking, sweating, writing one email after another. I had never been in that state before. I lost them. They've had enough of my bullshit. For the first time ever I was the one on the receiving end of wrath. Moments later I was also a hair away from losing the other friend. I pushed them both to their limits. I was a terrible friend. I wanted to disappear. What have I done? Why am I like this? What is wrong with me? I managed to get them both back. How? How am I allowed this level of forgiveness? I don't deserve such wonderful friends. I don't deserve anyone. I know this. No one will convince me otherwise. I am so grateful I've got them.

They both said I might have some kind of a "Cluster B Personality Disorder". I wonder which one. I am leaning towards HPD.

I am anxious. I am extremely anxious. I got them both back but I feel like I can lose them so easily. I hope this feeling goes away. I love you both. Thank you.

 
fuck you niger .. no want us on in my on myod the twhat whastf wjaia help im od'ding'ding'ding GUSTavO FRING M YBOOIOOIOOIIII U WILDING WIT DAT CHICKEN IN YO BOD
 

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