FartmingerFuckwadCheesest
"Oh, no, incoming fart attack!"
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- Apr 26, 2025
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An excerpt from "I Spent Only Fifteen Minutes in Smokey Joe's Cafe and Wanted to Blow My Head Off" by Elmer Dale Whytemann III:
>I smoked a cigarette and browsed the news. A story about noobs, written by a noob, talked about how noobs needed more et. cetera. The needs of a noob are endless. a noob on every television channel. a noob in every movie. nothing but noob music for noobs and those who wish to be noobs. that is almost worse than be a noob. at least a noob does not want to be a noob. a noob does not want to be a noob so badly he will kill everyone who is not a noob just so that he might not be reminded that he is a noob. I was glad to be alone again in my room, where no noob had ever been. there are few places like this left in the world. when the noob was the freed the world became the noob's slave.
>At night the noobs come out, brave in the absence of light, as if the Night were an accomplice to the noobs, lending shadow to the misdeeds of the darkies. Beneath the luminescence of gaudy streetlights the gangs of noobs, in feral noob packs, would stumble and howl, liquored-up on cheap noob drinks and enthused by the scantily clad negresses. In the day these noobs were more docile. The tumult of the noobs grew tedious and I decided to leave, to walk perhaps to a place where no noobs ever went. To do this I needed to walk down the noobstained streets and wait in subway overrun by noobs. Every noob looked at me as if I was waiting for me to call them what they are, as noobs, knew what I, not a noob, knew them to be. Most of the passengers were noobs or niglets. Each noob stared at the other noobs with shitoko that infects every noob due to the violence inherent in each noob and no one knows what a noob is capable of more than a noob. that is why noobs always leer as they do, for noobs assume that everyone has a propensity for violence equal to a noob's.
>In the fresh blossoming night air after I had risen from the stench of the noobsoiled subway I felt a peace that can only be known when all noobs are absent. Perhaps this is why noobs are so disgruntle, they never have the chance to leave noobs behind. Perhaps these typs of free and fresh nights are not available to noobs who must leer with noobhate in their noobheads and noobhearts all the days of their noobdly lives. But now the streets were clean, vacant of all noobs and the cacophony of noobs. I had come out of that noob-Gehenna where the golems of the noobloving liars waste and writhe. I was lost in the coolness of a midnight devoid of darkies.
>It was almost ruined, knowing I would have to return to the noobs. Knowing that everywhere else, noobs were muddying everything with their noobhands and their noobnotions. But for now there was the peace of no noobs.
An excerpt from "The Dawn of the noob" by Elmer Dale Whytemann III:
>of noob mind with noob thought the noob God brought noobness into the light the light now noobd lost its purity in place of it the noob the noob that is noob and none noob shall be but noob of mind and noob of soul and noob of noobbody the noob's flesh body flush and full of noob heat and noob history and noobheart of each noob forged in noob fury a noob to force the life. of noob mind the noob morning came harsh like noob breath noobblack like a noob copulating with another noob to make this noob even more noob. mastication of what the noob made not. of thought no noob knew but brought anew this noob age old noob hatred into the noob world that world that once knew no noob now no longer new due to noobs. noob at God's left hand come from noob gods now disproven by noob scientists white noobs white like but I noob underneath. a noob known by its maker, also a noob. so from a noob came a noob to procreate noobdom from noob to noob. a suit for noob a seat for a noob a salary for a noob and a noob book of poetry to be read noobdly in front of a crowd of noobs, crowding where the noobs crumble this civilization now left to noobs. a noob of thought and mind a mind of noobs with noob eloquence and noobgance and noob children fat and noob-lets not yet given the noob 'ger'wherein the violence of the noob comes to completion. a harsh sound noob to say on a tongue fit only for a noob. with noobsweetness the world comes now full of capitalisticnoobs and opportunisticnoobs and noobs that are neither being nor beast but only noob. of noob mind and noob thought for the noob, God brought noobness into the light one without noobs.
>I smoked a cigarette and browsed the news. A story about noobs, written by a noob, talked about how noobs needed more et. cetera. The needs of a noob are endless. a noob on every television channel. a noob in every movie. nothing but noob music for noobs and those who wish to be noobs. that is almost worse than be a noob. at least a noob does not want to be a noob. a noob does not want to be a noob so badly he will kill everyone who is not a noob just so that he might not be reminded that he is a noob. I was glad to be alone again in my room, where no noob had ever been. there are few places like this left in the world. when the noob was the freed the world became the noob's slave.
>At night the noobs come out, brave in the absence of light, as if the Night were an accomplice to the noobs, lending shadow to the misdeeds of the darkies. Beneath the luminescence of gaudy streetlights the gangs of noobs, in feral noob packs, would stumble and howl, liquored-up on cheap noob drinks and enthused by the scantily clad negresses. In the day these noobs were more docile. The tumult of the noobs grew tedious and I decided to leave, to walk perhaps to a place where no noobs ever went. To do this I needed to walk down the noobstained streets and wait in subway overrun by noobs. Every noob looked at me as if I was waiting for me to call them what they are, as noobs, knew what I, not a noob, knew them to be. Most of the passengers were noobs or niglets. Each noob stared at the other noobs with shitoko that infects every noob due to the violence inherent in each noob and no one knows what a noob is capable of more than a noob. that is why noobs always leer as they do, for noobs assume that everyone has a propensity for violence equal to a noob's.
>In the fresh blossoming night air after I had risen from the stench of the noobsoiled subway I felt a peace that can only be known when all noobs are absent. Perhaps this is why noobs are so disgruntle, they never have the chance to leave noobs behind. Perhaps these typs of free and fresh nights are not available to noobs who must leer with noobhate in their noobheads and noobhearts all the days of their noobdly lives. But now the streets were clean, vacant of all noobs and the cacophony of noobs. I had come out of that noob-Gehenna where the golems of the noobloving liars waste and writhe. I was lost in the coolness of a midnight devoid of darkies.
>It was almost ruined, knowing I would have to return to the noobs. Knowing that everywhere else, noobs were muddying everything with their noobhands and their noobnotions. But for now there was the peace of no noobs.
An excerpt from "The Dawn of the noob" by Elmer Dale Whytemann III:
>of noob mind with noob thought the noob God brought noobness into the light the light now noobd lost its purity in place of it the noob the noob that is noob and none noob shall be but noob of mind and noob of soul and noob of noobbody the noob's flesh body flush and full of noob heat and noob history and noobheart of each noob forged in noob fury a noob to force the life. of noob mind the noob morning came harsh like noob breath noobblack like a noob copulating with another noob to make this noob even more noob. mastication of what the noob made not. of thought no noob knew but brought anew this noob age old noob hatred into the noob world that world that once knew no noob now no longer new due to noobs. noob at God's left hand come from noob gods now disproven by noob scientists white noobs white like but I noob underneath. a noob known by its maker, also a noob. so from a noob came a noob to procreate noobdom from noob to noob. a suit for noob a seat for a noob a salary for a noob and a noob book of poetry to be read noobdly in front of a crowd of noobs, crowding where the noobs crumble this civilization now left to noobs. a noob of thought and mind a mind of noobs with noob eloquence and noobgance and noob children fat and noob-lets not yet given the noob 'ger'wherein the violence of the noob comes to completion. a harsh sound noob to say on a tongue fit only for a noob. with noobsweetness the world comes now full of capitalisticnoobs and opportunisticnoobs and noobs that are neither being nor beast but only noob. of noob mind and noob thought for the noob, God brought noobness into the light one without noobs.
![[transheart]](data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7 "Transheart [transheart]")
