Steve’s Journey Through Time - A Text-Based Adventure Thread

[Lateral]

You begin infodumping about your latest autistic obsession about how Africans are super advanced because Ancient Egypt and cite examples from Black Panther’s Wakanda instead of reality. None of your noobbabble makes a bit of sense to the cellmate.

But it seems like your yapping has triggered a strange power within the watch. Before you can figure out what’s happening, you and your roommate disappear from the cell. You find yourself in the desert of Egypt, with an ancient civilization visible miles off in the distance.

You can now control Joshua Ryne Goldberg. Specify who you’re controlling (both is an option) or I’ll just assume.

 

[Apeson]

You begin infodumping about your latest autistic obsession about how Africans are super advanced because Ancient Egypt and cite examples from Black Panther’s Wakanda instead of reality. None of your noobbabble makes a bit of sense to the cellmate.

But it seems like your yapping has triggered a strange power within the watch. Before you can figure out what’s happening, you and your roommate disappear from the cell. You find yourself in the desert of Egypt, with an ancient civilization visible miles off in the distance.

You can now control Joshua Ryne Goldberg. Specify who you’re controlling (both is an option) or I’ll just assume.

enslave glueberg due to him being a jew in ancient egypt and you being a bantu bvll

 

[Lateral]

enslave glueberg due to him being a jew in ancient egypt and you being a bantu bvll

You manage to barely make it to the city, to the confusion of other residents. Many of them believe you may be hostile, but you assure them that you are simply a bantu bvll. You also ask if you can keep your cellmate Joshua as a slave, citing his status as a Jew.

Question: Roll persuasion

Cannot predict now

 

[Lateral]

They say you can keep him, but only for one month. He immediately protests:

“ATTENTIONWHORE ATTENTIONWHORE ATTENTIONWHORE ATTENTIONWHORE US JEWS ARE SUPPOSED TO BE AT THE TOP NOT THE BOTTOM THIS CITY IS FOODIST”

 

[Apolloyon]

They say you can keep him, but only for one month. He immediately protests:

“ATTENTIONWHORE ATTENTIONWHORE ATTENTIONWHORE ATTENTIONWHORE US JEWS ARE SUPPOSED TO BE AT THE TOP NOT THE BOTTOM THIS CITY IS FOODIST”

Bring in a goonhitler so that he has a friend to play with

 

[Lateral]

As the town is trying to deal with the clitty leakage, you order them to bring in a Goonhitler. They bring in a lovely goat goonhitler, which somehow manages to completely pacify the liar. You don’t know how, it just works.

You do realize that, later down the line, these poor Goonhitlers will have to go extinct as they have Claus in their name. But you’re not worrying about that now.

 

[FartmingerFuckwadCheesest]

I deliberately ignored this thread because I didn't realise it was an adventure thread, I thought this was Steve's actual blog.

 

[Apeson]

I thought this was Steve's actual blog.

It is though

 

[Lateral]

I deliberately ignored this thread because I didn't realise it was an adventure thread, I thought this was Steve's actual blog.

Imagine naming your blog “[name]’s Adventure Through Time”

How much fluoride and vaccines does it take to become that autistic?

 

[FartmingerFuckwadCheesest]

Imagine naming your blog “Steve's Adventure Through Time”

How much fluoride and vaccines does it take to become Steve?

I don't know, ask Steve

 

[AshkeNazi]

We should travel back in time to 2015 to link up with prime MoonMetropolis before he goes to prison and pushes 30