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The Arkyd

I think at a certain point of wisdom, you just end up seeing no point in this life, even as a person who is religious. It happened with Solomon, as seen in Ecclesiastes. So as he said, the only thing there truly is to do is try and enjoy life as much as possible without dishonoring God.

Ecclesiastes 9:7-9: "Go, eat your food with gladness and drink your wine with a joyful heart…
Enjoy life with the wife whom you love all the days of this meaningless life that God has given you under the sun."

But I can't find joy in these things God has gifted me anymore, perhaps because many of these gifts from God have been corrupted. Easily accessible food is all sludge, work is no longer satisfying because it has turned into this complicated dummyed game where you aren't working for yourself, and relationships are as well just a fake game now. It's especially impossible to have fellowship at my age because all people my age are all demons. I really do try and find joy in life, but in this current modern society, it's completely impossible. The only hope I have at all to try and be happy and enjoy life is to completely separate from society and live by myself tending to my animals, but of course that's also impossible because of taxes and whatnot. All I can really look forward to is my day of death, so I am no longer is satan's world. I feel hopeless, and of course I pray and pray and pray for things to get better, for me to have a more positive outlook, but of course I don't get that break. I envy the man that doesn't see through this worlds fake games. I wish I could be so oblivious to it all, all the evil and all of the distractions. All I have to look forward to now is the grave.

It's only the promises of God that keep me going at this point, so I can only try and distract myself and try to make time fly whilst awaiting my death. Maybe I need to become homeless and travel the world, living off the land. That sounds infinitely happier than my current life, and any other life I could imagine. Of course, there are still legal restrictions there, but it's easier to get away with. Perhaps that is what I will do.
 
ArkydCross said:
I think at a certain point of wisdom, you just end up seeing no point in this life, even as a person who is religious. It happened with Solomon, as seen in Ecclesiastes. So as he said, the only thing there truly is to do is try and enjoy life as much as possible without dishonoring God.

Ecclesiastes 9:7-9: "Go, eat your food with gladness and drink your wine with a joyful heart…
Enjoy life with the wife whom you love all the days of this meaningless life that God has given you under the sun."

But I can't find joy in these things God has gifted me anymore, perhaps because many of these gifts from God have been corrupted. Easily accessible food is all sludge, work is no longer satisfying because it has turned into this complicated dummyed game where you aren't working for yourself, and relationships are as well just a fake game now. It's especially impossible to have fellowship at my age because all people my age are all demons. I really do try and find joy in life, but in this current modern society, it's completely impossible. The only hope I have at all to try and be happy and enjoy life is to completely separate from society and live by myself tending to my animals, but of course that's also impossible because of taxes and whatnot. All I can really look forward to is my day of death, so I am no longer is satan's world. I feel hopeless, and of course I pray and pray and pray for things to get better, for me to have a more positive outlook, but of course I don't get that break. I envy the man that doesn't see through this worlds fake games. I wish I could be so oblivious to it all, all the evil and all of the distractions. All I have to look forward to now is the grave.

It's only the promises of God that keep me going at this point, so I can only try and distract myself and try to make time fly whilst awaiting my death. Maybe I need to become homeless and travel the world, living off the land. That sounds infinitely happier than my current life, and any other life I could imagine. Of course, there are still legal restrictions there, but it's easier to get away with. Perhaps that is what I will do.
Click to expand...
High inhib problems.
 
Is that not just life summed up? Waiting for death? Of course you can do things to glorify God, and spread his holy name, but at this point in time I feel like it is almost impossible, especially in the area I'm in. If even the people in churches are evil and only pretend to love God, how could you possibly spread him to people that openly hate God? I'm sure people who are charismatic and not sub 5 could do it, but it's not a game I can play, I'm way too socially dummyed for starters. So I can glorify God as I wait for death, but in what ways? I don't have the resources for any of the ways, and of course this isn't just a coincidence. The world is ran by evil, evil have all the power, so they will do whatever they can to prevent the spread of good. But of course, I can't even be at all sure that everything I see and do isn't just a fabricated lie. The only thing I can be 100 percent sure of is that there is a God, and that my only purpose is to serve that God. But of course if all religion is fabricated, I would have no clue how to serve that God, so all I can do is assume its not fabricated, but it's already apparent that so much of it is, its 100 percent not out of the question. All I can do is pray, but my prayers are hardly given straight answers. It's an infinite loop of sadness. Of course, if it wasn't considered a bad evil thing to just end my own life I would do it immediately, but God makes me wait. I pray that the world ends soon. I pray that God ends this disgusting hellhole and releases me and everyone else from this seemingly endless suffering.
 
The only thing I can find even a tiny bit of joy in is creating art. Creating music and writing ideas. It's horribly sad that these things don't actually make money unless you sell your soul. But even then, these bits of joy aren't anywhere near enough to override the sadness.
 
As humans we yearn for connection with like-minded individuals, so it is very painful knowing everyone worships the world and is so unbothered by what is really important. How can you care for fake material? I only want what I absolutely need to survive, but even my want for my needs is fading away, because it is all fake. Everyone is asleep while I am awake and it is very lonely. I could only imagine what life would be without God. How can atheists not just kill themselves? There is almost nothing in this life to enjoy.
 

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