܁ ˖ ‧₊˚⊹

I have been considering making this thread - article? for some time now, but I wasn't too sure since it will just be me documenting my mental SNCA - though then I decided I don't really care and just want to use this as a tool for myself to archive my thoughts in an organized way. I feel disheartened, as everywhere else I've documented my thoughts have long since been lost and I liked to reflect on the things that have changed, and the things that I still need to work on though I'm persistent so I decided I will start all over again with this space I'll have created for myself for as long as this place comes to exist, who knows where things will go and there's so much I want to discuss in more detail - when I don't, my bottled up thoughts and complexities begin to feel unmanageable and I start to collapse in on myself. I don't know how this will be received, but I will state that I've never had any problems personally with anyone and I say this since I've noticed patterns with people feeling skeptical or off-put by me though I don't understand why when people need to learn how to communicate with other people before being so quick to act poorly, my personal thought and no offense meant in it.. I try not to step on anybody's heel, I like to just see where my day to day takes me because that's all we really can do in life, Ich guess.

 

[Sylwia]

Not at all. Pretty much everyone kinda gets tired of excess of information this days. I feel similar. My desire for power contradicts my desire of peace for myself.

I'm just tired

 

[catjakker]

boiiii this is so friggin tuff and niche

 

[Onzikin]

I'm just tired

I get it. I feel similar existencial crisis sometines, including recently. You kind feel a mini ego death, like you don't know what do with existence and start questioning the nature of humanity. I think a walk in nature would help you in this case.

 

[Sylwia]

I don't really know what to do about the day to day mundane, waking up every day wondering what the point is when I will do nothing noteworthy in comparison to others out there living a enriching life style, but me? I continue to spend my days in thought, always inside my own head and never experiencing life - but rather the thoughts of what life could be if I didn't always spend my time asleep or in the compounds of my own mine, drowning. The days continue to bleed into one another and I don't know if making any changes would do much to change my state of mind where nothing really brings me joy, there's only fleeting moments where I don't feel bored. I believe that eternal life would be a scarier thought than death, if I can't find anything to do with how much is currently available to me - I couldn't imagine living this way past the normal human life expectancy, the only drive I would have to live such a length of time is to see the progression of technology, something that continues to interest me. What would we do with eternal life, I feel as though our brains would become scrambled like egg over time with how much information we would learn over the progression of infinity, just thinking about the possibilities tires me.

I get it. I feel similar existencial crisis sometines, including recently. You kind feel a mini ego death, like you don't know what do with existence and start questioning the nature of humanity. I think a walk in nature would help you in this case.

> Including recently.

I do hope that you are able to be okay in due time. There's a form of ego death when you lose sight of what you're supposed to do with your existence, though I have so many thoughts and desires - there's many things I want to do with this life though everything I personally want to do is of grander scale, things that would take discipline and time. I don't know if simple walks in nature would aid my mental health, as I believe I need to be medicated at this point in my life as I don't feel anything at all - I haven't for years, there's no feeling left, and there would be no feeling in nature as the problems are within my own state of mind, deeply routed.

 

[Onzikin]

> Including recently.

I do hope that you are able to be okay in due time.

Yeah, I guess I often oscilate between being on a good and a bad mood. Today was one of those days I was feeling bad earlier, because of personal problems and also I got recommend political content and got hooked in. I'm doing better now and uninstalled some of my social media.
I often feel sreal womangly misanthropic and angry at the state of society whenever I'm having an existential crisis, but I see this is not the right option to behave

I don't know if simple walks in nature would aid my mental health, as I believe I need to be medicated at this point in my life as I don't feel anything at all - I haven't for years, there's no feeling left, and there would be no feeling in nature as the problems are within my own state of mind, deeply routed.

That's bad, though most medication I know helps you feel more numb rather than more cheerful. I don't know what more to recommend other than meditation, religion or some philosophical doctrine. I guess something else should be connection to others. I feel humans desire for socializing is contradictory, we always seek others and connection to help with our torment l, but trying to use others to fill the emptiness in ourselves never works and only leads to suffering, not too mention some of those people might be toxic to us. I'm fine being alone, it's just sometimes I don't want to miss out on the experiences and memories you can only get with someone else. Things are worse when in real life you can't get the idealized people and experiences that you imagine would be the best.
Anyway, sorry for hijacking your blog a bit, I just wanted to share with someone who thinks similar.

 

[Soyspotter]

I don't really know what to do about the day to day mundane, waking up every day wondering what the point is when I will do nothing noteworthy in comparison to others out there living a enriching life style, but me? I continue to spend my days in thought, always inside my own head and never experiencing life - but rather the thoughts of what life could be if I didn't always spend my time asleep or in the compounds of my own mine, drowning. The days continue to bleed into one another and I don't know if making any changes would do much to change my state of mind where nothing really brings me joy, there's only fleeting moments where I don't feel bored. I believe that eternal life would be a scarier thought than death, if I can't find anything to do with how much is currently available to me - I couldn't imagine living this way past the normal human life expectancy, the only drive I would have to live such a length of time is to see the progression of technology, something that continues to interest me. What would we do with eternal life, I feel as though our brains would become scrambled like egg over time with how much information we would learn over the progression of infinity, just thinking about the possibilities tires me.

might sound weird but would you say you eat poorly

 

[shekel]

Yeah, I guess I often oscilate between being on a good and a bad mood. Today was one of those days I was feeling bad earlier, because of personal problems and also I got recommend political content and got hooked in. I'm doing better now and uninstalled some of my social media.
I often feel sreal womangly misanthropic and angry at the state of society whenever I'm having an existential crisis, but I see this is not the right option to behave


That's bad, though most medication I know helps you feel more numb rather than more cheerful. I don't know what more to recommend other than meditation, religion or some philosophical doctrine. I guess something else should be connection to others. I feel humans desire for socializing is contradictory, we always seek others and connection to help with our torment l, but trying to use others to fill the emptiness in ourselves never works and only leads to suffering, not too mention some of those people might be toxic to us. I'm fine being alone, it's just sometimes I don't want to miss out on the experiences and memories you can only get with someone else. Things are worse when in real life you can't get the idealized people and experiences that you imagine would be the best.
Anyway, sorry for hijacking your blog a bit, I just wanted to share with someone who thinks similar.

she wont let you hit lil bro

 

[Twostripe]

just stop being sad

 

[Onzikin]

she wont let you hit lil bro

Cmon, let me seriouscaca in peace. Besides, there's already a lady I'm interested into.

 

[ATWA ya dig?]

there's already a lady I'm interested into.

I'll make sure to let her know to keep her windows locked and covered, then

 

[catjakker]

I don't really know what to do about the day to day mundane, waking up every day wondering what the point is when I will do nothing noteworthy in comparison to others out there living a enriching life style, but me? I continue to spend my days in thought, always inside my own head and never experiencing life - but rather the thoughts of what life could be if I didn't always spend my time asleep or in the compounds of my own mine, drowning. The days continue to bleed into one another and I don't know if making any changes would do much to change my state of mind where nothing really brings me joy, there's only fleeting moments where I don't feel bored. I believe that eternal life would be a scarier thought than death, if I can't find anything to do with how much is currently available to me - I couldn't imagine living this way past the normal human life expectancy, the only drive I would have to live such a length of time is to see the progression of technology, something that continues to interest me. What would we do with eternal life, I feel as though our brains would become scrambled like egg over time with how much information we would learn over the progression of infinity, just thinking about the possibilities tires me.



> Including recently.

I do hope that you are able to be okay in due time. There's a form of ego death when you lose sight of what you're supposed to do with your existence, though I have so many thoughts and desires - there's many things I want to do with this life though everything I personally want to do is of grander scale, things that would take discipline and time. I don't know if simple walks in nature would aid my mental health, as I believe I need to be medicated at this point in my life as I don't feel anything at all - I haven't for years, there's no feeling left, and there would be no feeling in nature as the problems are within my own state of mind, deeply routed.

we feel ya twin

 

[sodack]

I’d call you a real woman but you come off more as an egirl who has based her identity on those neet girl drawings that real women self insert as.

 

[Sylwia]

I've been considering picking up Fatal Frame II again especially since a remake of Fatal Frame II: Crimson Butterfly was announced, unfortunately not until next year though Crimson Butterfly was my favorite in the series. This alongside Silent Hill F has me excited, not something that happens often for me with big corporate games that release since I usually stick to more lesser known indie titles. There's something about beauty within horror that touches my emotions, a beauty in the macabre.

Yeah, I guess I often oscilate between being on a good and a bad mood. Today was one of those days I was feeling bad earlier, because of personal problems and also I got recommend political content and got hooked in. I'm doing better now and uninstalled some of my social media.

With the way things are in the world I think it's normal nowadays for most people to have their ups and their downs, I felt the same way when it came to the political content and it hooks you in to an unhealthy degree - it's good to be caught up on things going on in the world, but it becomes a problem when you're fed that content on a daily basis every time you refresh your social media platforms so deleting those from the equation is the healthier route for the mental so that you don't burn yourself out.

Anyway, sorry for hijacking your blog a bit, I just wanted to share with someone who thinks similar.

There's no reason to apologize, you responded which is open here,
it's not a locked thread and I don't mind when people respond to whatever I mind vomit about, sometimes it leads to interesting conversation.
When it comes to me though, I'll be fine - hopefully you will be okay as well.

might sound weird but would you say you eat poorly

This is something that I'm open about - I do tend to eat very poorly which is my own fault and something I attempt to work on though even when I would consider myself to be eating fairly decent meals on a day to day basis it doesn't help much with other health conditions I go through and situations with the mental that tire me out. Even when I have my lows, I always end up being fine in the end because it's a mindset I force myself through where I won't allow anything to hold me down for too long. I don't know if fixing my eating habits would solve anything as this is something I've worked on in the past and I still felt the day to day fatigue and melancholy that I always feel, though maybe paired with medications and finding professional help for my poor sleep habits maybe something will change for the positive.

just stop being sad

 

[worldatwar]

 

[Soyspotter]

This is something that I'm open about - I do tend to eat very poorly which is my own fault and something I attempt to work on though even when I would consider myself to be eating fairly decent meals on a day to day basis it doesn't help much with other health conditions I go through and situations with the mental that tire me out. Even when I have my lows, I always end up being fine in the end because it's a mindset I force myself through where I won't allow anything to hold me down for too long. I don't know if fixing my eating habits would solve anything as this is something I've worked on in the past and I still felt the day to day fatigue and melancholy that I always feel, though maybe paired with medications and finding professional help for my poor sleep habits maybe something will change for the positive.

eating good and staying active is what got me to unfry my dopamine receptors, i hope it works out for you

 

[Sylwia]

eating good and staying active is what got me to unfry my dopamine receptors, i hope it works out for you

Thanks, I do like to go out from time to time, especially walks late at night. I will find places to sit and read a book where there's street light and comfortable patches of grass, will sometimes get dinner from a gas station as well it's peaceful.

 

[GemersonLakeAndPalmer]

We got a new Princessparkles...

 

[Foggurt]

Just go on a walk dudette

 

[Sylwia]

We got a new Princessparkles...

literal who

 

[_73]

Aw hell nah who invited this noob on here