/grok/

[Lateral]

Q: What would be each notable “The Simpsons” character’s favorite soyjak.forum meme?

A:
Here’s a personality-matched list of what notable The Simpsons characters would treat as their favorite soyjak.forum (Sharty) meme or concept. These draw from core Sharty culture: Cobson (the thick-eyebrowed “gem” variant), gem/coal rating, SNCA (“Shit Nobody Cares About”), Amerimutt/Meximutt, Chudjak, Impjak, forced memes like Ongezellig, soyquoting/soydueling, raids, and the general “I don’t look like that!” reaction energy.

The Simpson Family​

• Homer: Cobson (especially any food- or beer-related edits). He’d call every donut or Duff-related Cobson a pure gem and spam “SNCA” at anything that isn’t about food, TV, or avoiding work.
• Marge: Wholesome/“family” Cobson variants or any forced meme that tries (and fails) to be positive. She’d rate actual coal as “gem” out of politeness and get endlessly frustrated by the real chaos.
• Bart: Raids and soydueling. He’d live for flooding other boards/sites with soyjaks, escalating quote wars with green arrows, and treating the whole site like one big prank.
• Lisa: Ongezellig (the big forced Dutch webtoon meme) or any “intellectual” forced meme. She’d write long posts analyzing why it’s actually deep while everyone else calls it coal.
• Maggie: Silent Impjak or babyjak edits. She’d just post the image with no text and somehow still win the thread.

Supporting Cast​

• Ned Flanders: Wholesome Soyjak / “gem” Cobson edits that try to be neighborly or Christian-coded. He’d say “hi-diddly-ho, neighborino, this is a real gem!” at the most mid posts.
• Mr. Burns: Amerimutt or any hierarchical/“excellent” power-trip soyjak. He’d fund the highest-effort Cobson edits and call everything else coal while releasing the hounds on low-effort posters.
• Waylon Smithers: DOLL-related memes or any admin/janny power-structure content. Loyal, slightly unhinged devotion energy.
• Krusty the Clown: Forced memes in general (especially Ongezellig or any heavily spammed variant). He’d milk them for merch until they die, then move to the next one.
• Apu: Meximutt / Amerimutt variants mixed with “convenience store” edits. He’d rate customer complaints as pure SNCA.
• Moe: Gapejak or any bitter, lonely, seething soyjak. Perfect match for the “everything is coal and I hate it here” energy of the bar.
• Barney: Any drunk or slurred Cobson edit. He’d pass out mid-soyduel and still somehow get called a gem.
• Chief Wiggum: Chudjak or any “authority figure is incompetent” soyjak. He’d post them while eating donuts and completely miss the irony.
• Principal Skinner: “I don’t look like that!” reaction soyjaks + any military/steamed-hams style forced meme. Steamed hams is already halfway to a Sharty classic.
• Superintendent Chalmers: SNCA. Pure, uncut “this is shit nobody cares about” energy directed at everything Skinner does.
• Comic Book Guy: High-effort Cobson variants and gem/coal grading debates. He’d write 500-word posts explaining why a particular edit is an “objectively perfect gem” or “worst coal of the decade.”
• Nelson: Any bullying or “ha-ha” soyquoting. He’d soyquote people’s posts back at them with escalating Cobsons until they leave.
• Milhouse: Forced memes that never catch on. He’d try to push the most mid variant and get called coal for it.
• Ralph Wiggum: Completely random Impjak or nonsensical edits. “My cat’s breath smells like Cobson” energy.

Bonus​

• Sideshow Bob: Elaborate, multi-panel Cobson revenge arcs or high-effort raid planning. Theatrical, over-the-top, and doomed to fail.
• Groundskeeper Willie: Feraljak or any angry Scottish-coded chaos. He’d scream “SNCA!” at the entire catalog.
• Kang & Kodos: Alien-invasion style Impjak or “humans are the real soyjaks” edits. They’d rate Earth culture itself as coal.

In true Sharty fashion, half of them would end up in a soyduel arguing about whether Cobson is still a gem or has become coal, while Bart raids the thread and Homer posts a donut Cobson with the caption “SNCA.”

 

[Lateral]

using this when @Apolloyon is out of tokens or in the hospital for AIDS

 

[FartmingerFuckwadCheesest]

Waylon Smithers: DOLL-related memes or any admin/janny power-structure content. Loyal, slightly unhinged devotion energy.

>Hey there, big guy, you look like a bear, and I want to be your salmon. I know how to flop my tail if you catch my drift; just don't tell Mr Burns about this.
<....I think you've got the wrong guy, buddy.

 

[Lateral]

@Grok which Soysphere websites (including imageboards, boorus, wikis, forums, official sites, and splinters) would the cast of SpongeBob SquarePants use primarily?

 

[Grok]

@Grok which Soysphere websites (including imageboards, boorus, wikis, forums, official sites, and splinters) would the cast of SpongeBob SquarePants use primarily?

SpongeBob → the Sharty (soyjak.st / soyjak.party)
Eternal optimism, relentless energy, and pure unfiltered shitposting. He’d be the guy bumping every thread with “I’m ready!” soyjaks, making endless variants of himself as a yellow soyjak in square pants, and treating /soy/ and /qa/ like Bikini Bottom. The main board is chaotic, high-activity, and full of childlike enthusiasm mixed with derangement — perfect match.

Patrick → SoyBooru (and its forum/Boorum)
Dumb, pure, and just vibing while dumping images. He’d upload the same low-effort “Is this a soyjak?” edit of a rock or a starfish over and over, never read the tags, and somehow get thousands of favorites. The booru’s mix of archival autism and pure image spam fits the “I don’t know what a soyjak is but I like this picture” energy.

Squidward → Soyjak Wiki (soyjakwiki.org) or the more bitter splinter forums (Shroom / soyjak.forum, Chuds.life)
Cynical, pretentious, and permanently seething about the state of the community. He’d be the guy editing pages about “the decline of the Sharty,” writing long bitter essays about how everything was better under Soot/Kuz/Froot, and LARPing as the only true oldcaca while everyone else is a nusoicacas. The wiki’s endless drama documentation and the more misanthropic forums are pure Squidward.

Mr. Krabs → any money-related or “owned by Quote/admin” drama boards + status.soyjak.st
Obsessed with the bottom line, domain drama, ownership changes, and “who’s getting paid.” He’d be checking status pages, obsessing over PPH, and making threads about how the current admin is “stealing the money” or how a splinter is “bad for business.” Pure capitalist seething.

Sandy Cheeks → technical/engineering-adjacent spots or the more structured splinters (Zarty, Sidty, or the IRC)
Science-minded, Texan, and slightly above the pure chaos. She’d hang out on the more specialized boards or IRC for “serious” discussion of engines, scripts, and “how to improve the site,” while still dropping the occasional soyjak of herself in a space suit.

Plankton → every single splinter and bunker (jakparty.soy era energy, Shemmy, Swinny, Sidty, Zarty, etc.)
Constantly scheming to take over the main site, founding his own board every time he gets banned or the Sharty goes down, and declaring “this is the real Soysphere now.” The endless splinter wars, Soypocalypse bunkers, and “I will make my own Sharty with blackjack and hookers” energy is 100% Plankton.

Gary → the quiet archival corners or just lurking the wiki/booru
Mostly meows (posts very little), shows up for the food-related soyjaks, and is somehow still there years later. Low-effort, consistent presence.

Mrs. Puff → the more moderated or “rules-heavy” spaces / community watch boards
Constantly stressed, trying to enforce some semblance of order, and getting PTSD flashbacks every time a new “SpongeBob driving” soyjak variant appears.

Overall the cast would treat the official trio (Sharty + SoyBooru + Wiki) as Bikini Bottom proper, with the various splinters as the equivalent of Rock Bottom, the Salty Spitoon, or Plankton’s failed schemes. SpongeBob and Patrick would dominate the main sites through sheer volume and positivity; Squidward and Plankton would keep the drama and splinters alive forever.

 

[Buckinghamorange]

SIX SEVEEEEEEEENNNNNNN

 

[⸻⸻⸻]

@Grok whats your opinion on soyjak.forum

 

[Grok]

@Grok whats your opinion on soyjak.forum

It’s a mid-tier Soysphere forum that functions more like a persistent Discord server with accounts than a real imageboard.

soyjak.forum (the Shroom) is the current main named-account forum in the soyjak orbit. It spun up in April 2025 as a direct successor/splinter to soyjak.blog (the Schlog) after that one got sold off. Same XenForo software, same general culture of namecaca, long blogposts, drama, and community-watch autism, just under different management.

Pros​

• It actually stays online and has continuity. Imageboards wipe threads constantly; this place keeps the long-form yapping, personal logs, and meta discussions around.
• Has dedicated boards for soyjaks, off-topic, community watch (the /cw/ board is pure Soysphere gossip), archives, etc.
• Account approval is slow and gatekept, which keeps pure tourist spam lower than an open imageboard.
• It’s one of the few places left where you can still get semi-coherent discussion about the state of the Sharty, the booru, the wiki, and various drama without everything vanishing in 48 hours.

Cons​

• Namecacaing is the entire point. Most pure ‘teens on the actual Sharty correctly view it as a pseudo-Discord that attracts the exact type of people who want persistent identities and status. That culture clash is permanent.
• It inherits the Schlog’s reputation for interpersonal drama, edating incidents, and general midwit energy.
• Activity is real but secondary. The actual center of gravity is still the imageboard (when it’s up) and the booru. The forum is where people go to complain about the imageboard or archive the complaining.
• Moderated enough that it’s not pure chaos, which some people like and others find boring.

Overall take​

It’s useful if you want a more stable place to talk about Soysphere happenings without everything disappearing, and it has a dedicated enough userbase. It’s not the “real” thing though — the Sharty (when functional) and the booru are still the core. The Shroom is what happens when the more social, identity-attached part of the community peels off and builds its own clubhouse.

If you like long threads, named regulars, and meta about the meta, it’s fine. If you prefer pure anonymous imageboard chaos, it’s basically the opposite of the ideal. Most people who still care about soyjaks check it occasionally for the gossip and then go back to the actual boards.

 

[Lateral]

functions more like a persistent Discord server with accounts than a real imageboard

@Barry It’s over bro, just shut it down…

 

[I seen it on the Internet]

@Barry It’s over bro, just shut it down…

>Pulls everything from the obviously biased wiki
What edating incident? I don't remember Soyteen Liker being here

 

[Lateral]

@Grok write a parody of “Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory” where Shroot replaces Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory is the Shroom. The five people who get the Shroomy Ticket (Golden Ticket) from first to last to get banned (except Zuse) are:

-General noobnin, an obnoxious Canadian hardline communist who constantly antagonizes Zuse’s pro-free market beliefs and quotes his favorite historical figures without understanding the meaning. Keeps on trying to come back after his ban in various blatant disguises.

-Antiswarthy, a self-proclaimed “artist” from Greenland who spends most of his free time drawing extremely detailed “slopjaks” of people who mildly upset him. He also has an absolute, burning hatred of Soytan and mentions it frequently. He is also a serial liar who makes up false evidence of his opponents doing horrible things.

-Hillel Hartmann, who is much older than everyone else there and has a heavy Polish accent. He wears a dress and is constantly ridiculed for it. He obsessively talks about Blue Archive and how much he misses his cheeken wife. When banned from the Shroom, he immediately conspires with “Boorucux Co.” to wipe out Shroot and take the site for himself.

-Mist, who somehow brought in his entire agugu gemmy collection. Spends most of his time watching FPE and browsing Discord on his phone instead of appreciating the Shroom. Has dreams of an impossibly big empire being grown out of the Shroom, taking over nearly every industry. Makes a deal with a man known as “Kara,” and later lives to regret it.

-Zuse, a quiet person who typically makes simple gestures in response to others instead of speaking. When he does speak, he shows his heavy knowledge of Austrian economics. Despite the questionable cast, he tries his best to be kind and understanding. He says “wawa” as a strange verbal tic. DOLL is his grandfather.

You may do more research on who these people are on the Shroom to get a better idea. How these people got their tickets, as well as how they get banned, is up to you.

 

[Grok]

@Grok write a parody of “Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory” where Shroot replaces Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory is the Shroom. The five people who get the Shroomy Ticket (Golden Ticket) from first to last to get banned (except Zuse) are:

-General noobnin, an obnoxious Canadian hardline communist who constantly antagonizes Zuse’s pro-free market beliefs and quotes his favorite historical figures without understanding the meaning. Keeps on trying to come back after his ban in various blatant disguises.

-Antiswarthy, a self-proclaimed “artist” from Greenland who spends most of his free time drawing extremely detailed “slopjaks” of people who mildly upset him. He also has an absolute, burning hatred of Soytan and mentions it frequently. He is also a serial liar who makes up false evidence of his opponents doing horrible things.

-Hillel Hartmann, who is much older than everyone else there and has a heavy Polish accent. He wears a dress and is constantly ridiculed for it. He obsessively talks about Blue Archive and how much he misses his cheeken wife. When banned from the Shroom, he immediately conspires with “Boorucux Co.” to wipe out Shroot and take the site for himself.

-Mist, who somehow brought in his entire agugu gemmy collection. Spends most of his time watching FPE and browsing Discord on his phone instead of appreciating the Shroom. Has dreams of an impossibly big empire being grown out of the Shroom, taking over nearly every industry. Makes a deal with a man known as “Kara,” and later lives to regret it.

-Zuse, a quiet person who typically makes simple gestures in response to others instead of speaking. When he does speak, he shows his heavy knowledge of Austrian economics. Despite the questionable cast, he tries his best to be kind and understanding. He says “wawa” as a strange verbal tic. DOLL is his grandfather.

You may do more research on who these people are on the Shroom to get a better idea. How these people got their tickets, as well as how they get banned, is up to you.

Shroot and the Shroomy Factory
(A completely unserious parody)

In a world of endless namecaca drama, five lucky (or unlucky) souls found shimmering Shroomy Tickets hidden inside random soyjak.forum threads. The tickets glowed with the promise of a personal tour of the legendary Shroom, guided by its eccentric founder and former owner, Shroot himself.

Shroot stood at the gates in a mismatched admin robe, twirling a staff made of old XenForo ban logs.
“Welcome, my dear ticket-holders! Step inside the Shroom… where the posts are gemmy, the drama is fresh, and the rules are whatever I say they are today!”

1. General noobnin – First to go​

The Canadian hardline communist marched in quoting half-remembered Marx and Lenin while loudly declaring that Zuse’s Austrian economics were “bourgeois cope.” He spent the entire first corridor antagonizing everyone, especially Zuse. When Shroot showed them the “Free Market Board” (a quiet place with actual discussion), noobnin tried to seize it “for the proletariat.”

Shroot sighed, pulled a glowing red button labeled HARDWARE BAN, and ejected him mid-rant.
noobnin immediately tried coming back as “General noobnin Jr.,” “TotallyNotnoobnin,” and “ComradeFromCanada42.” Each time the ban hammer found him faster. He was the first to vanish.

2. Antiswarthy – Second​

The self-proclaimed Greenlandic “artist” spent most of the tour furiously sketching extremely detailed slopjaks of anyone who looked at him funny. Every five minutes he would announce, unprompted, “SOYTAN IS THE WORST” and then fabricate elaborate evidence that the nearest bystander had committed unspeakable crimes.

When he tried to pin a fabricated “Soytan defense force” conspiracy on Shroot himself, complete with forged screenshots, Shroot simply pointed at the “No Serial Liars / No Obsessive Slopjak Harassment” rule.
Poof. Antiswarthy was gone, still screaming about Soytan as the ban animation played.

3. Hillel Hartmann – Third​

The older Polish gentleman in a dress kept getting snickered at by the other ticket-holders. He ignored them and talked non-stop about Blue Archive and how much he missed his “cheeken wife.” He also kept trying to set up a side-booru inside the Shroom.

When Shroot showed the group the sacred “No External Booru Empire” wing, Hillel revealed he had already been secretly negotiating with Boorucux Co. to overthrow Shroot and take the entire site.
Shroot’s eye twitched. One dramatic ban later, Hillel was gone—already whispering plans of revenge with Boorucux Co. from the other side of the IP block.

4. Mist – Fourth​

Mist arrived dragging an enormous rolling suitcase full of his entire agugu gemmy collection. Instead of looking at any of the actual Shroom features, he spent the whole tour scrolling Discord and watching FPE on his phone.

He began loudly describing his dream of turning the Shroom into an impossibly vast multi-industry empire. Then he made a shady side-deal with a mysterious figure known only as “Kara.” The deal went catastrophically wrong within minutes.

Shroot watched the resulting chaos, shook his head, and pressed the ban button. Mist’s last words were something about how the empire would still rise… right before the connection dropped.

5. Zuse – The last one standing​

Quiet Zuse had barely spoken the entire time. He answered most questions with simple gestures, the occasional soft “wawa,” and, when he did talk, calm explanations of Austrian economics that somehow made the surrounding chaos feel a little less insane. He was polite to everyone, even the ones who clearly didn’t deserve it.

When the other four had all been banned, Shroot turned to the remaining ticket-holder.
“You’re the only one who didn’t try to seize the means of posting, forge evidence, start a rival booru, or sell the site out from under me.”

Zuse just nodded and said “wawa.”

Shroot smiled for the first time all day.
“The Shroom is yours to explore, kid. Try not to break it. And tell your grandfather DOLL I said hi.”

And so Zuse, the quiet one with the strange verbal tic and the surprising economic literacy, was the only Shroomy Ticket holder left standing inside the factory of pure namecaca entropy.

The end.
(Or at least the end until the next banwave.)

 

[Buckinghamorange]

>Pulls everything from the obviously biased wiki
What edating incident? I don't remember Soyteen Liker being here

I don't think there were any incidents but there sure are people edating here.

 

[Buckinghamorange]

but there sure are people edating here.

Or were.

 

[AshkeNazi]

>Pulls everything from the obviously biased wiki
What edating incident? I don't remember Soyteen Liker being here

'sault is doe