@Grok make it extremist woke SJWs that are white and not trans instead then
Hogwarts Election Short
“The Sorting of the Poll”
The Great Hall was louder than usual. Four long tables glowed with floating ballots that simply read:
GOOT
CARGO
Professor McGonagall stood at the front, looking exhausted.
“The houses will vote,” she said. “Gryffindor, Ravenclaw, Hufflepuff, and Slytherin. No external interference. No campaigning after the hourglass starts.”
Harry, Ron, and Hermione sat with the Gryffindors.
Harry muttered, “Goot feels like pure chaos. Kind of like the Triwizard Tournament.”
Ron: “Cargo at least talks about rules. I like rules when they stop me from getting cursed.”
Hermione was already writing a twelve-inch essay on both platforms.
Slytherin leaned hard toward Goot. Ravenclaw was split down the middle. Hufflepuff mostly wanted whoever would keep the house-elves paid and the common room clean. Gryffindor was shouting over each other.
The hourglass turned. Voting began.
Then the oak doors of the Great Hall exploded inward.
A large group of extremely loud, extremely online-looking young adults — all pale, all wearing multilayered statement pins, all carrying laminated signs — stormed the hall. Their signs read things like “TRANS LIBERATION NOW,” “DECOLONIZE THE SORTING HAT,” and “JK ROWLING IS LITERALLY VOLDEMORT.”
Their leader (a tall white girl with a half-shaved head and a megaphone) shouted:
“This election is invalid until it centers the most marginalized! Cargo is the only candidate who can dismantle the fascist badge system and erase Rowling’s lingering influence from the castle! We are taking control of the ballots in the name of justice!”
Chaos erupted.
The invaders knocked over the Ravenclaw table, seized the magical ballot box, and began stuffing it with pre-marked Cargo votes while chanting. One of them tried to Confund the Sorting Hat into declaring Cargo the new Headmaster. Another set a small fire under the Slytherin table “to disrupt systemic power.”
McGonagall’s voice cracked like a whip.
“ENOUGH.”
With a single sweeping motion she froze every invader mid-chant. The stuffed ballots hung in the air. The megaphone squealed and died.
“You will leave my school,” she said coldly. “You are not students. You are not alumni. You are trespassers who have interrupted a house vote with the most tedious performance I have witnessed in fifty years.”
The frozen activists were levitated out the doors and deposited on the lawn. The gates sealed behind them with a heavy clang.
McGonagall restored the original ballots with a flick of her wand.
“The vote will continue,” she said. “Properly.”
The houses finished casting their ballots in relative quiet. When the results appeared in golden letters above the staff table, the hall went still.
GOOT: 51%
CARGO: 49%
A single, tired cheer rose from the Slytherin table. Someone in Hufflepuff groaned. Hermione looked personally offended by the margin.
McGonagall pinched the bridge of her nose.
“Congratulations to the winner. Now all of you — go to bed. And if I see one more external activist inside these walls, I will personally feed them to the giant squid.”
The candles dimmed. The students filed out, still arguing.
Somewhere on the lawn, a muffled megaphone tried to start another chant and was immediately silenced by a well-aimed Banishing Charm.
And for one night at least, Hogwarts remained exactly as dysfunctional as it had always been.