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I have been considering making this thread - article? for some time now, but I wasn't too sure since it will just be me documenting my mental SNCA - though then I decided I don't really care and just want to use this as a tool for myself to archive my thoughts in an organized way. I feel disheartened, as everywhere else I've documented my thoughts have long since been lost and I liked to reflect on the things that have changed, and the things that I still need to work on though I'm persistent so I decided I will start all over again with this space I'll have created for myself for as long as this place comes to exist, who knows where things will go and there's so much I want to discuss in more detail - when I don't, my bottled up thoughts and complexities begin to feel unmanageable and I start to collapse in on myself. I don't know how this will be received, but I will state that I've never had any problems personally with anyone and I say this since I've noticed patterns with people feeling skeptical or off-put by me though I don't understand why when people need to learn how to communicate with other people before being so quick to act poorly, my personal thought and no offense meant in it.. I try not to step on anybody's heel, I like to just see where my day to day takes me because that's all we really can do in life, Ich guess.
 
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I still dream frequently - every night, I don't completely understand why I dream as much as I do, something that's always been the case. Lucid dreams, Lucid Nightmares, False Awakenings, False Awakening Loops, Sleep Paralysis, even sleep walking when I was younger though it's been a long time since the last time I moved to another room in my sleep. I'm invested deeply in the space of dreams, something that I read a lot about and explore myself. It's always a weird feeling whenever I'm inside of a lucid dream, and realize that I'm in a space that shouldn't exist - while completely aware that my physical self is outside of myself asleep in a bed. I don't understand how it's possible - but it's usually something I can't help but be drawn to, my dream spaces are always nonsensical with liminal themes - even before liminal spaces were a public interest, I don't know why this is. I need to purchase more pens as there's many dreamscapes I would love to create visually but I almost ran out of ink drawing the night sky. Most of these spaces in my dreams are reoccurring, I don't understand this either or how it's possible for dream spaces to come back in around in later dreams, with mostly every detail remaining the same. There was a time where I believe that I witnessed the beginning of a dream, something that I plan to go into further detail at some point when I can gain access to more ink to draw and write what I saw and felt.
 
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