ITT: We build the definitive Claus hypothetical one sentence at a time.

[garry尼尔森]

after that, 7 colorful BBCs appear surrounding Claus and then

 

[गुरप्रीत आर्यन सुपरसोल्जर]

Neutralplier poses with his glowing eyes and a mythical text of "Claus" appears as he tells Claus: "Happy Birthday Claus! I hope you can enjoy this amazing profile picture!"

 

[𓅰𓅪𓃯]

Joshua Ryne Goldberg woke up in a cold sweat, “W-What a crazy nightmare…”

 

[catjakker]

"What nightmare?"
Goldberg turns his head, there's butt naked Claus in his bed, with an extremely large bbc touching his foot

 

[𓅰𓅪𓃯]

Goldberg was immediately erect.

 

[catjakker]

*Credits roll*

 

[Itransheartblox]

"HARDER, HARDER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" said goldberg

 

[garry尼尔森]

before then he started pushing 30 but then he met a gang that would do him dirty, so, he decided to

 

[𓅰𓅪𓃯]

>rape

 

[गुरप्रीत आर्यन सुपरसोल्जर]

But because he left his window cracked, a swarm of giant greyscale flies start to swarm him and eat his BBC

 

[Lateral]

Taking advantage of Claus’s incapacitation, Goldberg went on Discord to ask for help from the last schlogpedos.

 

[𓅰𓅪𓃯]

“Please enter the code sent to your email to log-in” Goldberg bit his lip, as time was running out and he could already feel the flies gnawing on his flesh.

 

[गुरप्रीत आर्यन सुपरसोल्जर]

He logged into his email [email protected] on his slow thinkpad, which he bought because @cortex257 convinced him to buy one

 

[Lateral]

He then barely managed to type the code and in his Schlog discord, he spammed: “OY VEY THESE FOODIST FLIES ARE EATING ME BECAUSE THEYRE ATTENTIONWHORES ATTENTIONWHORES ATTENTIONWHORES PLEASE HELP GOYIM”

 

[गुरप्रीत आर्यन सुपरसोल्जर]

a deep mysterious brown brappy entity known as marioman responds: "sorry bro im too busy downloading DD on my slow meximutt internet"

 

[Lateral]

Claus dodges the flies and narrowly manages to escape, abandoning Goldberg as he shouts in his dying breath,

 

[गुरप्रीत आर्यन सुपरसोल्जर]

DAMN YOU Claus YOU'LL PAY FOR THIS, PRAISE NETENYA-AACCKKKKK!!!

 

[Lateral]

Claus, needing 6 million dollars to get his BBC replaced, stumbles upon a job offering for “Cargopills LLC.”

 

[OrHoweverTheBurgerIsEaten]

Claus is now apart of a illegal Cargopill trafficking empire in Colombia.

 

[CX2]

he takes part in the milk drinking ritual of jolteon nips from goot